looks. they deceive.

Monday, February 28, 2005
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haha.. its finally over. everything over. i gort 9. quite happy.. haha.. a1: e-mths, humans, express chinese. a2: eng, a-mths, phy. chem b3 bio b4. hcl d7. bio and hcl a bit dissappointing but nvm.. but dsn't matter now.. hha.. i'm still happy with the results. mid yr 28, prelim 11, o's 9.=)

turns out vj not accepting flutes thru appeal, so tt pretty much saves all the trouble. i wun put both as i risk losing both. so i'll choose one. yupz. dun wan make any promises yet. gonna use tml and wed to think thru to confirm. i'm not making any promises though. i've learnt better..

there's some shift going on now.. dun think i'll elaborate.. somewhat a bit chaotic somewhere..

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[contradicting]
2/28/2005 11:23:00 PM

by the time u read this i'll probably have decided.

8 points and below: vj
9-10: tj
above tt: appeal to either depending on which has higher chance, if not mj. hope this will not happen.

reason: if i can make it to vj academically i probably can manage. if not no point going there and struggling. if i cant make it to either i'll appeal cuz mj is not really where i wanna go and i think i'll be better off in the above 2. of cuz i hope i get higher than 10.

some things i'll say in advance.

IF i leave tj. sorry to all esp mich, hs, gen, twain, pam, ter, legen, woody, neem, toilet queen, viv.. thank u for making me enjoy my 2+ months in tj. and sorry melissa. sorry if i missed out anyone impt.. as u can see the time now is 3++.. i have abt 2 hrs be we'll have to wake up..

IF i dun go vj. dun think anybody will blame me. if i decide not to appeal to vj cuz i can stay in tj, sorry wx. thanks for everything u've done to try help. pong and yaf dun miss me.. haha.. but dun forget me either hor.. vscb 01-04 ppl i'll miss u guys.. u all rock my socks and slippers and shoes and sandals and toes and toenails etc etc......

i've made up my mind. finally. after 2 months counting from 1st jan. hope i dun decide to change my mind last min.

thanks everyone who cheered me up esp pong, yaf, mich, gen, viv. sorry again if i 4got anyone..

to anyone who still hasn't decided.. until now.. who's as slow and indecisive as me: decide now. list out everything and compare.

to those who are happy with their results: congratulations.

to those who didnt get results they want: its not end of the world. wadeva happens dun do stupid stuff. please.

good luck to everyone and myself!!!

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[contradicting]
2/28/2005 03:42:00 AM

i have to decide.

vj: think i can study better there cuz of peer influence.. i think vj ppl basically work hard and play hard.. maybe it'll be more stress but i believe i can handle.. band.. i think i'll stand higher chances of leadership position in vj.. friends.. no need to say.. vs pals esp those from band.. but other than band will i be able to fit in to classes? according to frens they having fun in their classes.. hmm..

tj: not really studying much now.. but it'll get better.. somehow i'll have to study. i think i feel quite comfortable in tj. band.. playing is very good.. will probably do better than vj in syf.. i lurve the ppl also.. esp dwc ppl.. had a really really nice time wif them all. but probably might not be able to get leadership post if i wan.. one downside is i actually find my scg quite boring.. but maybe tt's good cuz its one less distraction.

summary:
acedemic-vj
band-tj
frens-same

i want to achieve sth out of my jc life.. i dun wan it to be lyk in vs where i juz passed without doing much.

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[contradicting]
2/28/2005 03:03:00 AM

tt was gen.. obviously.. haha.. she decided to watch notebook all over again.. so here i am.. haha..

juz now toppled the cup of water onto some stuff.. sry..

and my typing is disturbing.. sry again.. haha..

notebook starting to make some sense now.. haha..

time passing..

its coming..

i brought 3 badges including vs one..

blah wadeva..

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[contradicting]
2/28/2005 12:07:00 AM

Sunday, February 27, 2005
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at gen hs now.. haha.. they watching notebook.. which i dun understand.. so i'm now at the com.. haha..

GENEVIS ROCKS MY SOCKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
yesyesyes!

thanks ah.
hahahahhahahhah
cheehehehehehehehhehe.
hmmmhehehehehhe

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[contradicting]
2/27/2005 11:13:00 PM

Saturday, February 26, 2005
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amazingly i didn't screw up much for tt perf today.. haha..

as much as i told myself not to, i've let band take over my life again.. my life is all abt band.. crap..

band is lyk the only thing keeping me in tj now.. and it happens to be a HUGE thing.. esp dwc..

coincidentally band is the main thing pulling me to vj also.. blah..

pass tml and it will be monday..

i cant imagine anything past tt..

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[contradicting]
2/26/2005 11:09:00 PM

Friday, February 25, 2005
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supposed to be having econs lect now.. dunno wtf i'm doing here.. skipped bio b4 this. only intended to skip econs actually but mixed up timetable.. crap.. i sux.. i'm in quite a bad mood now.. dunno y.. i've neva fet so bad in a long time.. recently i've been feeling dman pissed. as in.. damn blardie fuckin pissed.. not sure wad i want.. no mood to do anything.. i think i sux.. i know that.. crap.. stinkin shit.. argh..

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[contradicting]
2/25/2005 10:21:00 AM

Wednesday, February 23, 2005
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blah.. flunked my bio test.. maths not much better.. tml chem.. argh.. still have bio and chem hw.. and i'm feeling super sleepy now.. die la..

everybody's feeling paranoid.. so paranoid even the colour of envelops have meaning.. haha..

seriously i dun think i'm fit to comment..

will have to decide soon..

this is killing me..

i'm feeling so sick of everything..

blah..

dun worry i'm fine..

i think..

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[contradicting]
2/23/2005 09:56:00 PM

Tuesday, February 22, 2005
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Shit la i'm so screwed. tml gort maths test on partial fractions, binomial and ap. i lost my binomial and ap notes.. den gort bio test on cell structure, of which notes i lost also.. crap. heng siok sent me the notes she made.. thanks! haha.. i'll help u some other time.. if am even able to..=______=|| den gort econs hw which i have no idea how to do.

RESULTS CONFIRM NXT MON.. according to some website.. haha..

i've been feeling quite down recently.. nvm.. dsn't matter.. it'll be over soon.. after results, after choice, then time shall do the job..

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[contradicting]
2/22/2005 09:34:00 PM

Saturday, February 19, 2005
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i've gort 2 badges on my table now.. hve been staring at them for a long time.. i think i'll be staring at them a lot more the nxt few weeks.. after tt i'll keep one away.. somewhere i'll not see often.. where i kept my vscb badge..

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[contradicting]
2/19/2005 05:21:00 PM

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
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my cg planning to have some outing on thu after sch.. lyk some last supper..=____= they were asking for suggestions.. i suggested the beach or somewhere with tall buildings..

not really in the mood to blog.. or even do anything else(tt includes study). blah.. nvm..

btw, i appologise in advance to anyone i might offend the nxt few days due to my foul mood..

although i am by no means qualified, i still have some advice to all: dun worry too much. and dun make stupid decisions. anything can wait.. dun do stuff that would change ur relation with others for worse......

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[contradicting]
2/16/2005 08:54:00 PM

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
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yay! someone congratulate me! i survived the whole of today without ponning anything. am i great or wad man.. haha.. however, i found that i'm not juz lagging, but lagging tonnes. bio i missed 2 whole chapters, chem 1, mths 3, econs half which is already a lot...... crap.

i have to catch up. anw.. i did econs during bio, chem during mths, and bio during gp.. at least i attended the class lahz.. haha..

anw, after sch had lunch(one of my many meals today), then prac. I REALISED I DIDN'T SCREW UP FOR THE PERF CUZ OF ME, BUT CUZ OF INSTRU.. some stoopid screw was coming out.. crap lah.. wth.. haha.. after prac went gen hs for digimon again.. haha.. then gelare..

btw, there was swimming today.. 40 laps.. haha.. quite fun.. and stoopid vivian.. i late a bit only lah.. and we still made it on time lorx.. u were late ytd lah.. and i neva say anything=P go everywhere see u one.. boo..

nxt week results.. its tormenting lah.. i'm so afraid.. not so much abt results.. but abt the desicion i'll have to make.. IF i'm even cursed with a choice.. its starting again.. the delima.. blah..

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[contradicting]
2/15/2005 08:53:00 PM

Monday, February 14, 2005
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happy valentines day to all=)

blah.. it happened again.. same as nssn.. i gave so little and received so much.. sry ppl.. haha..

after sch went gen hs wif ter, tz, tw and pam.. played digimon.. haha.. sounds lame but quite fun.. haha..

OMG.. i'm lagging lyk nobody's business now lahz.. totally dunno what the heck happening at lectures and tutorials.. thanks to some ppl who instigated me to pon.. =P nvm.. shudn't blame anyone.. MUST catch up liaoz.. and fast..

if tt is so, then what the heck am i doing online???

screwed.. wth..

ponning is addictive.. cuz u pon once u'll find urself lagging.. den dun feel lyk going cuz u wun noe wad's happening.. and cuz u dun feel lyk going, u'll pon somemore and lag even more.. the chain goes on and on and on......

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[contradicting]
2/14/2005 09:08:00 PM

Sunday, February 13, 2005
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had performance today. screwed up. tt's all i'm gonna say.

anw, i finally decided to get sth for my angel mortal. havent wrapped them properly though.. gonna do tt later.. and i'll have to think of sth to write also.. blah.. this kind of things ish not for guys.. haha..

OMG!! i met a *. and i didn't even know.. haha.. tt's totally.. blah.. i gort nth to say.. haha.. the thought of it still gives me goosebumps.. haha..

anw, i've decided i should stop ponning and start catching up. i think everyone else esp hs and gen should do the same.. haha..

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[contradicting]
2/13/2005 10:20:00 PM

Saturday, February 12, 2005
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Happy CNY!!!=)

i realised i should stop ponning classes or school cuz i'm lagging lyk mad..

it happened again on fri.. this time with more ppl.. stoopid thing ish we ended up practicing in band room.. after tt went pw for lunch. vj juz finished x-country, so i met tonnes of frens at pw.. i realised i forgot to bring my score for the prac so had to go home to take.. another day full of crap.. haha..

cny was ok.. didn't visit my mom's side, so tt means half less ang paos..=( hopefully can get them soon.. haha..

my angel wrote to me, so tt means i'll have to write back.. bought stuff to giv juz now.. havent wrap yet..

anw juz now had batch outing.. supposed to meet at 1 but dsn't matter.. expected.. all late.. had lunch den spent more time deciding where to go.. ended up at pool.. which was nonsense.. haha.. played lyk crap.. then ikwan hs, vcd, pizza.. yupz.. the point ish can see frens.. and free pizza.. haha..

perf tml.. i juz received the 4th part today.. crap.. will be partly sightreading tml.. argh..

tasks for now:
-dun screw up tml's perf.
-find stuff to give angels and mortals.
-write to them and giv them the stuff.
-find out hw i'm supposed to do.
-do those hw.
-stop ponning.
-catch up with studies.
-wait for results.

blah.. dunno lahz.. i need to do everything b4 results, cuz i probably wun be in the mood to do anything after results are released.. haix..

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[contradicting]
2/12/2005 11:26:00 PM

Monday, February 07, 2005
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blah.. thanks to gen as usual.. i did it again today.. this time with hao also.. haha.. went mac to 'study' then went bugis take photo.. then walked ard.. hs bought mud, wanted to buy earrings but didn't.. after tt came home sleep..

organ supposed to do impro.. gort this double note thing.. cuz i lazy to change base note i had to stretch my hand lyk free.. haha.. nvm..

anyway, ytd i went jurong east in the morn for flute quart prac, then noon went glad hs at toa payo for gp proj, night yamaha for prac again.. haha.. all over the island..

the neterlands or somewhere flautist ish obviously very good.. her playing very consistent.. her flute is close hole de, but sounds really good.. so i learnt close hole not = student model.. haha..

boo.. my friendster testi ish all abt ponning and slacking now.. its not i enjoy ponning lah.. juz tt some lect really useless.. its more productive going somewhere to study by myself.. but prob ish.. i dun really study..

vivian seems to have sth against me.. jealous i tall arh.. boo.. =P

i'm a good boi.. haha..

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[contradicting]
2/07/2005 10:35:00 PM

Saturday, February 05, 2005
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cny carnival ytd. met old frens, koped food, smashed and got smashed by pie, band perf, stalls etc.. there was this rock band which took a longer time to set up and tune than to play. not tt their playing was atrocious, juz tt i dun really like heavy rock music.

anw.. sry mich, viv, glad and everyone else who wasted their effort trying to persuade me to buy stuff.. i was and am really broke.. haha..

something lame happened today.. shall not mention..

everybody seems to be sick recently.. get well everyone.. haha..

if u have a cough, dun be lyk someone and eat chicken.. if u eat chicken accidentally and the cough gets worse, dun go eat chicken pau.. juz lyk someone.. i shall not mention the name.. who else can be so blur.. haha..

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[contradicting]
2/05/2005 03:09:00 PM

Thursday, February 03, 2005
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today was full of crap. bio we did the presentation. i was still trying to figure out what i was supposed to say 3 secs b4 i presented. and i was still trying when presenting.

chem and mths the lecturer said things that made no sense, so i went into meditation. chem not much better. econs would be slightly less useful than chem and mths, so we ponned. and i have to say again, WE. if one person does a bad thing its wrong, but when everybody does it there's nth wrong. haha.. gp watched the famous ppl thing. pe 3.6km..

i didn't go for the cny rehearsal thing. pe ended at abt 3.45.. then took a short rest. then went canteen on my way to band room. met z they all. nxt time i got up from the chair was lyk 5+. nvm.. according to mona it was lame anyway.

supposed to play capt ball, but kai yi told me to go vs get score from him. i went all the way back and he told me he forgot to bring. =________=

OMG!!! prac dis sun at JURONG EAST 7PM!!! mad. i live at the other side of the island.. and perf is nxt sun. i juz found out wad we playing juz now. havent even seen the piece.. crap. anyway, there's this perf by this dutch(i think) flautist who has been studying flute for 10+ yrs. 13th jan at ymc(young musicians society, not yamaha music school) which is at waterloo street. can take mrt to doughby gaught and somehow find ur way there. $5 for student. there's gonna be a flute quartet, a flute and harp solo, a sax quartet and a chamber ensemble(i think). those interested to see me screw up might wanna come..

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[contradicting]
2/03/2005 09:47:00 PM

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
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sounded less disgusting for bad prac juz now compared to last week... but then again, i cant sound much worse than last fri..

there's this perf with this norwegian flautist on 13th... i still dunno wad pieces we are supposed to play... and at my present standard, it will be suicide... and there's audition on 19th... whee..

cg 24 entered 2nd round of captain ball.. yay! and it happens to be tml, when we have sum runthrough for the cny carnival thing..

i've been so sleepy these few days...

come to think of it, i've been sleepy all the while...

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[contradicting]
2/02/2005 09:30:00 PM

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
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for some reason, i cant say much abt wad happened in school today... haha... thanks to genevis...

anyway we're supposed to do the bio presentation tml... so far i havent done anything... blah.. not i slack... but i dun have powerpoint... i shall get one from tt shop soon... haha...

practiced a while juz now. sounded not as bad but still bad. low and mid register are ok... high notes are very thin. hopefully tml i dun screw up again... i need to warm up properly... but apparently there's scico... crap... feel lyk quitting... nvm...

hope nobody asks too many qns... as long as i survive tml i should be fine... haha...

ponning ish not good...

i'm a good boi(=

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[contradicting]
2/01/2005 09:01:00 PM

Happy Endings
______________________

tan thiam kee; 14th oct;
vscb/tjcsb; flute~~;
tkflutez@hotmail.com;
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