looks. they deceive.

Thursday, March 31, 2005
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supposed to have ac concert ytd.. thanks to miss oreo blender i coundn't make it.. haha..

had some prac today.. i feel i havent improved much individually, but we did improve as a group.. so i guess tt's good. i didn't sound good btw.. lyk since when.. haha.. nvm..

and thanks to miss cookie blender, i didn't pay a single ounce of attention during f-mths lect.. and havent attended a single phy lect.. i bet she's gonna start blaming me and everything again.. but nvm.. being the nice guy i am.. i shall not continue..

there's sectionals tml.. and o night=)

ok i'm getting quite sick.. shall not elaborate here..

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[contradicting]
3/31/2005 09:53:00 PM

Tuesday, March 29, 2005
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ok i'm getting quite sick..

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[contradicting]
3/29/2005 10:37:00 PM

Monday, March 28, 2005
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hmm.. havent really had a decent post on events these few days.. dun worry.. i'm probably not gonna post dumb emotional stuff here again.. haha..

anw.. last day of o2 today.. except for o-night on fri.. hmm.. amazingly i actually found it quite fun.. amazing race and all the mass dance.. cuz basically tt's all i went for.. yupz.. good job i guess.. to all those involved..

this week gonna be super slack again.. haha.. all the lecture thing.. at least i'll have time to catch up on work and do some practicing.. no i mean A LOT of practicing.. i dun sound good.. blah.. nvm.. i should stop before someone starts grumbling again.. haha..

ok cuz my brain isn't really working again.. i shall stop here..

good night.

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[contradicting]
3/28/2005 09:44:00 PM

Saturday, March 26, 2005
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suppposed to have band at 8 this morn. woke up at 6.30, then slept and woke up again at 7.30.. sianz..

anw, we tried out rv suite and grand march.. i unknowingly kept playing the 1st part.. and i wasn't really paying attention.. all i could think of was mw20.. as much as i would like to, i hope they dun start trying out october, les mis etc..

there seems to be sth wrong with me. i cant focus during band, and i'm actually getting a bit sick of band.. which once used to be all my life was abt. and i actually felt pissed during band prac for some reason.. the wonderful armstrong isn't helping much either.

i quote this from someone's blog: the band seems to be making quite good progress, except maybe for a snail which has caught up. i think i'll have to agree.. and i shall not comment further.

as a result i am in a fantastic mood today.

just when i thought all the shit was over..

shit y am i feeling so emotional again..

i shall go sleep before it gets worse..

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[contradicting]
3/26/2005 10:53:00 PM

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
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hmm..

to fahan who didn't make it to vj: cheer up my dear friend. i understand how u feel. i went thru tt too. and if i can get thru tt and enjoy myself in a non vj place, so can u=) Forget vj. i mean.. Let vj stay only as part of your memory, nothing more, nothing less. U can carry on with life with the knowledge tt u have spent a wonderful 3 months in vjc with great friends. need help when u feeling bad can call me anytime. i or rather we'll always be there man.. haha.. vscb foreva!!!

to all who made it to the jc they want: congrats=) enjoy urself!! haha..

to all the rest: enjoy urself!! haha.. dun worry.. go ahead make new friends, get new experiences, new environment.. go to the new place with an open mind. keep memories of whereva u've been only as memories.. dun start hating the school and everything.. cuz tt'll only be suicide. well.. all i can say now is this.. and good luck. have fun!=)

ok. i'm sounding very =___________=

DWC remains intact!!!!!! YAY!!! haha.. tingzhang owes me breakfast lunch and dinner for one whole week. i dun care. lalalala.. and congrats to everybody. =)=)=)lalalala.. haha..

anw.. juz now after band went dinner.. everybody went crazy.. tt's all i will say. crazy. literally crazy. totally crazy. mad. senseless. nonsensical. madden.. madded. crazied. crazified. maddified. whateva u call tt. my point is: everybody went crazy.

i'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by emotions now.. not sure why. just feel relieved things are finally coming to an end and everybody can settle down.. but at the same time.. the past few yrs events playing thru my mind. haha..

but anw, i'm happy everything is over.

life goes on=)

enjoy it=)

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[contradicting]
3/23/2005 09:54:00 PM

Tuesday, March 22, 2005
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hmm.. posting out.. i posted to first choice tj.. haha.. all the 5 in vj gort in naturally.. so for one moment i was wondering.. what if.. i remembered all of us agreeing to go vj together.. and now i didn't even put in my choice.. and i went vs for vj in the first place.. so i began to wonder.. many many more reasons came up..

but then again.. what's the blardie point of thinking so much?? i'm enjoying myself in tj, thanks to dwc.. haha=) i see no need to go anywhere else. and i dun think i'll want to go anywhere else.. maybe due to fear of adaptation.. probably cuz i like tj.. dsn't matter.. the point is.. i'm staying in tj and i'm happy.

finally postings coming to an end.. it has been a torturous 3 months.. good thing, i have to mention again.. is tt i'm staying in tj and i am happy=)

keep what happened in the past only as memories.. continue with life.. i live with the knowledge tt i have spent 4 fantastic years with the vscb ppl. another 2 years would be great.. but 4 years has already been wonderful, and i'm contented. now i'm gonna spend 2 years with new ppl, and enjoy every nano-micro-mili-centi-whatever-is-smaller-second of it.

thank u all for letting me have such a nice time, as well as great memories..

haha.. i sound so.. =_______= lalalala..

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[contradicting]
3/22/2005 08:45:00 PM

Monday, March 21, 2005
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ha! ok done now its not gay anymore!!! yay!!! i only realised fully how gay it was juz now when i saw it at gen hs.. haha.. but nvm.. its gay no more.. lalalala..

NEO HAO SIANG CHEER UP!!!!!!!! gort anything can tell me.. haha..

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[contradicting]
3/21/2005 08:32:00 PM

Sunday, March 20, 2005
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ok changed template.. thanks to gen.. it looks a bit gay now.. but what the heck.. the font also a bit strange.. but tt can be changed..

okok i shall write abt the past few days nxt time.. cuz some idert refuses to eat now.. blah no link.. nvm.. haha..

buaizzz...

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[contradicting]
3/20/2005 10:40:00 PM

Thursday, March 17, 2005
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i've decided to dedicate this post to a friend of mine(or anybody else) who has a huge problem with confidence. this is probably gonna sound quite corny but nvm..

reasons u r unconfident(if tt's the word):
-u r good but a lot of ppl ard u are just better.(ur school has mep for goodness sake.. how u compare??)
-u r scared u would be overconfident(when u r not even confident???)
-ur bestest best fren is a pro(dsn't mean u r bad)
-ur instru sux tt's y u sound strange
-u have too high expectations of urself(cuz some ppl ard u are really good)

reasons to be confident:
-if everybody says u r good.. u cant be tt bad..
-if u r confident u will be good(or better cuz u already r good)
-everybody has faith in u.. cannot let them down
-u r really good.. so wad's there to be afraid of?
-there are many ppl out there who really sux..

yes it does sound corny.. but anw.. dun be afraid u aern't good. cuz u r. we shall see.. strawberries at stake.. haha..

dun try to be confident.. be confident..

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[contradicting]
3/17/2005 10:48:00 PM

Wednesday, March 16, 2005
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i just realised term one just passed.. i somehow recalled the first day of school.. how unwilling i was to go.. then somehow i stopped detesting and started to like it.. and i actually came to like it so much tt i decided to stay.. and come to think of it.. i actually stayed mostly cuz of band.. specifically dwc.. but nvm.. the point is.. term 1 is over.. and a lot of things happened during the term..

hope everything ends soon.. everything as in.. wadeva's making me feel wad i feel now.. i dunno wad i feel.. juz extremely tired i guess.. dunno.. confused? brain dead? haha.. wadeva.. i'm sprouting nonsense.. as usual.. nvm.. blah..

i think i need to sleep.. havent had much of tt recently.. but b4 tt.. i shall have some strawberries.. haha.. buaizzzz...

treasure wad u have............ esp friends and family..

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[contradicting]
3/16/2005 10:34:00 PM

Sunday, March 13, 2005
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went study wif gen again juz now.. made some improvement this time.. did 4 qns(9 if u count abcd). gen did 1(4 if u count abcd). the smart gen forgot to bring money so i ended up paying for her first again.. and she almost sprained her neck cuz she kept turning to look at the door every few seconds.. and when her dear twain finally came neither of us noticed.. until lyk 3 mins later when he decided to sms her to inform her of his location.. and he was really wearing tt shirt.. blah.. nvm.. haha.. i think i should stop saying before sth bad happens tml.. haha..

gen told me write abt her.. so being the nice person i am.. i did.. lalalalala..

anw, hols have started..
i need to use this hols to:
-study.. catch up with all the stuff..
-practice.. my tone sux esp for high notes.. and fingers lagging.. and genevis plays the flute well.
-help some ppl with some stuff..
-give my poor overheated brain some rest..
-diet.. haha..
-have fun!!

lets all look foward to the future.. haha..

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[contradicting]
3/13/2005 10:09:00 PM

Wednesday, March 09, 2005
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i've decided to change sub combi to double mths, phy and econs. i figured i probably wouldn't do sci stuff as much as i like them.. and c mths and econs will probably be more useful to me in the future.. f mths helps my c mths.. and to take f mths i need to take phy.. so... yeah.. lyk tt lorx..

somehow my sidebar is empty... crap.. cant see a thing..

confused..............

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[contradicting]
3/09/2005 09:41:00 PM

Tuesday, March 08, 2005
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please let these 2 weeks pass quickly. after these 2 weeks a lot of problems will be solved.. including my own.. yupz.. i trying damn hard to persuade myself.. less than 2 weeks to go.. i can make it.. after tt there will still be problems.. but at least we will all feel safer cuz nth much can be changed anymore.

for now, we cant really do much, so lets all cheer up and smileeeeeeeeeeee=)

let time do the job......

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[contradicting]
3/08/2005 09:24:00 PM

Monday, March 07, 2005
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to a friend who is worried over results. worried over school etc.. everything will be fine. there's no use worrying now. there's nth u can do abt it anyway. so juz enjoy urself and we'll see what happens when the time comes.. yupz.. smileeeee=)

to a friend who is worried over relationship.. give each other some more time.. if u feeling doubtful abt anything go ahead and ask.. dun keep it to yourself.. must have confidence in the other party.. yupz.. so.. let nature take its course and we shall see what happens in time.. yeah.. smileeeee=)

to a friend who is worried cuz everyone else is worried.. relax.. everybody will be fine.. they juz need some time to settle down their emotions or whatever else is bothering them.. so give them some time and everything will be fine.. no point worrying cuz other than listen and give advice there is nth much we can do.. so... smileeeee too!! =)

we shall all smile...... problems come and go...... all we can do is make them go quickly... yupz.. haha..

actually come to think of it i'm in no position to tell ppl to be happy... blah.. nvm.. we will all be fine...

=)

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[contradicting]
3/07/2005 09:22:00 PM

Saturday, March 05, 2005
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it turns out i'm not as sure as i think i am.. victorians day today.. went back to meet some vs friends even though the thing was cancelled for some reason. felt strange seeing them again.. some feeling i've been missing for very long.. and i start wondering again if i made the correct desicion.. a few days ago i was looking through my yearbook.. then sth strange happened.. i shall not go further.. either way, i'll have to live with it..

many ppl have been feeling down lately cuz of various reasons..

cheer up=)

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[contradicting]
3/05/2005 11:22:00 PM

Thursday, March 03, 2005
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hmm.. while some ppl cannot get into the jc they want, others do not want to get into a jc they can get into. i think if there is definitely reasons why they dun wanna leave, be it cuz of frens or anything else. at the same time, parents(yes parents and not parence this time) will want their child to go to a 'prestigious' college. but i think its not the name or reuptation that matters. its whether one likes the place and the friends they make there. there is absolutely no point going somewhere 'prestigious' and screwing up cuz u are not happy. i would rather go somewhere not as well known and be happy. cuz when u are happy u tend to do well.

i read my previous few posts and they dun make much sense. this dsn't either. but my point is: follow what your heart tells u. not wad ur parents or friends tell u.

if u end up somewhere u dun really like YET, keep an open mind. tt's how i came to like tj=) i mean.. no point hating the school cuz u'll have to stay there for the nxt 1 1/2 years no matter u like it or not. its not whether a school is good or bad. if u like it its good, if u dun its bad.. yupz..

i realise i'm crappin again.. i'm full of shit.. blah..

stay happy guys.. and gals.. haha..

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[contradicting]
3/03/2005 10:26:00 PM

Wednesday, March 02, 2005
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these few days quite stormy.. ppl feeling bad.. and i feel bad for them too.. results are already decided.. so all we can do now is do what is best for us. life goes on.

yes life goes on.. no matter how much u hate or love it. so love it.

mine is in a mess now. need to do something abt tt.. i've been saying this since a long time ago..

vs did really well for o's.. i'm impressed. good job everyone=)

we shouldn't choose school cuz all our friends are there. we should choose base on what we may achieve there. those who went a school they didn't want for the first term should look back and see if they like tt school. there is no point being so sure u are leaving, thus developing a hatred for the school. if u are happy in tt place and think u will have chances to perform, then go ahead and stay.

and if cant stay in a school u like, just carry on with life and go somewhere u might like. every school can be nice. it depends solely on yourself. never hate anything. its ok if u cant meet your friends everyday. true good friends never part.=)

i've been through this so i understand=)

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[contradicting]
3/02/2005 11:02:00 PM

Tuesday, March 01, 2005
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well, i've decided. its tj. there are ppl who really desperately want vj and probably wun be happy anywhere else. i totally understand how it feels to go some alien place. so i'll give up one more space so one more person can be happy=) even if i dun go vj i still have tj to fall back to.. and i like tj.. so yupz.. lyk tt lorx..

thanks everybody who cheered me up and helped me decide=)

life goes on..

i'm not depressed.. really.. juz feeling strange.. not sure good or bad.. haha.. maybe good cuz its finally over after a looooooonnnggggg time.. bad cuz i know some ppl will not be able to make it to where they want..

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[contradicting]
3/01/2005 09:40:00 PM

i'm feeling very lethargic now. both mentally and physically. physically cuz i havent been sleeping much. mentally cuz of u noe wad.

i really dunno wad i should do now.. for now i'll do wad i'm doing.. i dunno wad i'm toking abt either.. dwc doing nice job trying to persuade me.. so is vscb.. crap.. haha.. nvm.. i not confident of making it to vj, so i'll stay.. for now.. haix.. blah.. i'm getting confused again.. blah.. please let it be over.

ytd during the econs lect which we decided to go last min.. a teacher woke me up abt 3 or 4 times. then i talked to teong on the phone in front of her.. turns out she's our new civics tutor, taking over mrs raj who is on maternity leave.. haha.. lucky she quite nice.. tok crap wif us and everything.. haha..

my mom asked me if i've been eating my meals recently.. haha.. i have.. though i didn't finish much.. not diet.. juz no appetite.. blah..

my bag smells of chicken.. mixed with insect repellent.. haha..

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[contradicting]
3/01/2005 08:21:00 PM

i realised this has been a long day.. made so many posts..

everybody seems so depressed.. so much tt i'm feeling bad myself.. i can evena almost feel wad some of them are feeling.. somehow..

relax. results are already out. its ok if u didn't meet ur expectations. i was expecting a lot more also.. but i'm still fine now. its good as long as u put in ur best.

so.. dun worry k? everybody will be just fine=)

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[contradicting]
3/01/2005 12:11:00 AM

Happy Endings
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tan thiam kee; 14th oct;
vscb/tjcsb; flute~~;
tkflutez@hotmail.com;
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